Tuesday, 17 February 2015

William's WF: Controlling the flow of my writing to create tension or excitement. WI : Did the story flow.

The race  

“Three...two...one...go” shouted larry
And of we went, speeding down the hill. We were on Mt ruapehu’s slopes. It had taken us 25 minutes to walk up the hill 2 kilometers with the sleds behind us on a piece of rope. The first turn of the race was the easiest of the race but still it was sharp. Billy was in the lead but we were all gaining on him.
Round the bend I was neck and neck with Billy. At the next corner there was only just enough space for one person. I had to make it, I just had to.Come on come on, I was breathing very heavily. Billy slowed down three...two...one YES!!! I had made it. My breaths came slower as I calmed down. I looked up the next corner was looming up and this was the most dangerous of all  cause you had to go around a rock and there was about one and half meters space between another rock. this might sound like a lot of space but when you are going 30 kilometers an hour it seemed like centimeters. I took a big breath here goes. I went through it, I had made it through the turn yippee!

Then I saw Billy had made it through to and was a meter behind me. I saw the finish line,” We were next to each other now. I can do this. The finish line  10 meters away, 6 meters away, my sled hit ice and I spun. I got myself under control. I flashed over the finish line. I had won I HAD ONE!! yay, I climbed out if my sled. By this time the others had arrived “Ready for another race?” I asked.

By William A


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