Cormac In tension: To make the reader fell scared and leave it on a cliff hanger. Focus: use punctuation.

I'm going, going gone i have gone down instead of up to a place of happiness and delight and where no bad things happen instead i am somewhere where it smells like feet and hot raspy breath stinking making me real as i descend into the sea of

hands. They grab me and bring me down into the center of the crowd than’ the pain i'm being dragged across the floor and the dirt is going in my hair than cutting my arms and legs ripping my dress to shreds my blond hair stained brown with mud’ then i'm thrown into a room 5 seconds later the walls start closing in on me i scream as they get closer i'm getting claustrophobic i have always been a bit ‘then suddenly just as the walls were about to close in it stops and i'm dragged up stairs hitting my head on the cold stairs each step in till i'm at the top i'm pushed off and i go flying over the high tower this is HELL.

By Cormac