Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Independent Writing

My Literacy Focus: Use more commas instead of full stops for effect.
My Intention: I want to make the reader feel sad and like the person in the story.

I stare through the car window. I just can’t bear to see this unsightly sight. I never thought my beautiful hometown would become like this, wrecked. The fear, of what would happen to the place I was born, the place I lived in for so many years. I am afraid and my feet is trembling, I don’t want to leave like this, but I have no choice. I keep asking myself what would have happened if I was left here. Me and my parents would have died if we didn't escape in time. I am grateful for what happened to my family. I am just so lucky my parents were alert enough to sense something bad was going to happen. When they heard the sound of missiles, they just grabbed me and drove off. That moment of my life was one that I would never ever forget.


Vicky said...

Hi Natalie.
I really like your story and I think that every person who reads it will be hooked in.

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